I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
