Pappa wants mamma naked
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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