So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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