You really coming over, don't trick.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
