awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
