nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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