If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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