lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
