You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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