On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I could fuck to npr.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize
