He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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