The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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