Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize