Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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