I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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