I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
as a side note pls kill me
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
