I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
