I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
