Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Vodka?
Forever.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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