I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
