we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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