on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
