when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize