I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
