I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
