i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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