If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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