i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
