ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
