remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
