You're completely useless in the revolution.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
