I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
