well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
