lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
