Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
