Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
