Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
