if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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