you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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