I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize