He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I will die if light touches me.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
