So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
