Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
