If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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