talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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