Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
