Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
