you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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