Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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