Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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