btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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