"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
