dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
